Hair

"When the moon is in the seventh house..."

Yeah, Hair opened in 1968, created quite a stir - nude bodies at the close of the first act! Can you imagine...?

But more about that later. Meanwhile I had my own hair story going...

By the end of January my brief fling with the beautiful and sincerely sweet Barbara had come to an end. (She had apparently been "two timing" me. Some other girls, eager for a chance with me, had put me on to this by dedicating a song to me at a dance - "Woman, Woman" by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap. "Have you got cheating on your mind, on your mind?")

Ok, so it ended with a little bit of drama, and now it was key to demonstrate to my public that it was not gonna faze me one bit. I went looking for a suitable substitute.

There was this girl, Bonnie. She was in my grade, but not in any of my classes. She was always smiling, in a dopey but endearing kinda way, altho she always seemed to be blushing. She didn't hang out at the dances, but she was beautiful in a pert kind of way, and she had cachet, since she had been the long time girlfriend of a guy named Tony who was a couple of grades older. Tony was already driving. He was cool, but in a long hair kinda way. It was rumored that they did acid together and, you know, were having sex...

Word had gotten out that Bonnie and Tony had broken up. I decided to make my move. At a dance (she was on the outs, so she began going) I asked her to dance. Other guys backed off. I dance with her the entire night. She seemed like she was having fun. I began calling her.

It was then that I realized why she was not in any of my classes. Let's just say, she was hard to engage in a conversation about virtually everything. Music, sports, current events, other couples and popular people - nothing. I even tried broaching the topics of LSD and sex, as if I myself had experienced them. There were many long, embarrassing pauses. I could hear her blushing over the phone.

Thus it went or about 3 weeks or so. I think we kissed once. She would go to dances with me, but she always had to go over to talk to her friends, and a couple of times I caught them pointing at me an laughing. She had that dopey, blushing face on, so I told myself they were not mocking me.

This relationship was giving me nothing, but I had a reputation to defend. One Saturday as we (meaning I) were talking on the phone, she actually asked me to go to a local park that night. It was February so the lake there was frozen, and a bunch of kids were getting together to skate. I didn't own a pair of skates and didn't know how to even if I did. I equivocated, but later on that day I got wind that Tony was gonna be there. My rep was on the line. I had to be there.

The deal was, I was not looking for a fight, but I knew I would have to confront him. There was a code of conduct. The worst case scenario was that Bonnie would just try to break us up, chide both of us. The best case scenario was that she would be impressed with me for being wiling to fight for her. In the first scenario, it would be over but I could withdraw with honor, as it were. In the second scenario, she would be warmer to me.

So I went. Bonnie was standoffish. I didn't see Tony, but he was rumored still to be coming. Bonnie could skate well and enticed me to try it, altho where I was gonna get skates, I had no idea. And the last thing I wanted to do was make a fool of myself. If I were comfortable in our relationship I'da probly done it, have some laughs. But I wasn't, and I was there to defend my rep. Being an ass was out of the question.

After a couple of hours of watching her skate around, and hovering with her friends and giggling, and not paying much attention to me, and with Tony nowhere in sight. I decided to go. She seemed non-plussed.

Monday I went up to her in the hall. Again, we didn't share any classes so the hall was the only opportunity I had to speak to her. Again, she was standoffish. I asked her what was up. She was with a friend, so it was difficult, but she had on that dopey, blushing smile and kept looking at her friend as I spoke, like, get a load of this guy!

I pushed the issue - so, I guess you don't wanna go out anymore... What is it, Tony? I guess this hit on something, because she blurted out - "Why don't you wash your hair every once in a while?"

She smiled and blushed and giggled with her friend, and then turned and walked off.

I was devastated. Forget being let down so cavalierly - she was pretty with a nice figure and all, but dumb as dirt and boring as hell. I had been going thru the motions, as had she. Tony or no Tony, this thing was terminal, and soon.

But she had cut me to the quick. She had put me in my place, and maybe just needed to say something mean to get herself off the hook, knowing that for me to call her again would be the equivalent of crawling. But I was embarrassed beyond all reckoning.

It was true - I didn't wash my hair often. I never used shampoo. This was still the Brylcream age, when slick greasy hair was cool, so having greasy hair was not such a big deal. But she had made me feel dirty. And fact of the matter was, my hair WAS dirty.

I began to think, is that why her friends were giggling and pointing at me? Was that dopey, blushing smile really embarrassment for me? Here was this girl, hanging out with an older guy who was driving, dropping acid and having sex. And here was I, little twerp with the greasy hair, playing little boy smootchy games. I felt like I was an inch tall.

Luckily, the other girls "my own age" didn't notice, or didn't care, or didn't let on that they cared. Life after Bonnie was like life before - popularity, coolness, the harem.

But I made sure I started washing my hair!